Category Archives: Parenting

The Agony and the Ecstacy of Sports

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The wind rushed across the night-lit field and the crowd huddled in coats and blankets. We were there on the sidelines for our last soccer game Friday night — the game to determine the champion team.

We, the second-place team, were pitted against the first-place team of the league. We’d beaten them once before. But we heard they’d improved.

 They scored in the first half, and boys all looked a little defeated right off the bat. Maybe they’d improved more than we knew. But by the second half, we came out of the gate and scored! 1-1!

The second half was just as exciting: The ball was high in the air for a good part of the game — high kicks, “heading” back and forth, trying to get the ball off “high bounces.” Our goalie caught some great tries. Their goalie did the same. We were back and forth on the field. But then they scored again, and our players were feeling pretty down. They had some REALLY good kids on their team. But almost at the very end, feeling like we lost, we suddenly scored! (Nate assisted that one)! Yay! 2-2! Continue reading →

Fall Saturdays

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We’ve been spending our fall Saturdays watching this guy:

Do stuff like this:

And this:

And this:

And, of course, this:

Atta’ boy!

We’re playing in the playoffs today — two games a day. Wish him luck!

UPDATE: We won both games on Saturday! One more game next Saturday morning, then we’ll know the championship standings and may have a championship game Saturday afternoon. Whoo-hoo!

Our Longest-Running Family Tradition (a.k.a. How to Halt the Co-Sleeping Thing)

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When our kids were small, we used to go through what lots of parents do: Being drudged out of sleep by that tiny, middle-of-the-night voice … the one that whispers “Mommy? …. Mommy? … Mommy?”

You open one eye. Peer upward. And there’s a 3-foot-tall human standing at the side of your bed, breathing heavily into your bangs. …

As you rub the sleep out of your eyes, you remember what all the parenting books say. They all tell you you’ll create a monster if you keep inviting your children into your bed. But … well … you’re just so tired. … and … gosh, maybe just this one more time … and man, is it 3 a.m.?

And you sleepily throw the covers wide and welcome your little human in.

We did this for our first child for three years. I kept reading in the parenting books that I should not do it, and I’d scan through all the bulleted reasons why not, and I’d basically agree. In theory. But – honestly – at 3 in the morning, I never cared. I just wanted to get back to sleep. And the path of least resistance seemed the best path to take. Continue reading →

That Was Then, This Is Now

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Then: Rene, 5; Nathan, 2; Ricky, 8

We are a family who loves traditions — even the kids say they do. And we’ve had many over the years. We always had neighbors and friends over on Halloween and served appetizers and let the kids get their final costumes on while the adults talked — then we’d all go out trick-or-treating together. On Fourth of July, we used to have a bike parade around our lake, which later turned into a day at the lake, which then sort of evolved into kids playing in the courtyard in their red/white/blue Old Navy shirts and parents making hamburgers and hot dogs after they hung their flags out front. On Christmas, our family decorates our little tree together, and one kid gets to put the star on top in a rotating pattern. On New Year’s, we used to get Chinese food and stay up as late as we could, toasting with sparkling cider (for the kids) and champagne (for us) and sit on the bed and watch Dick Clark together. …

But here’s the thing: The kids are growing up.

And they have their own friends, and their own gatherings to go to, and they’re often not home on these days anymore. And definitely not doing the traditions.

It first struck me last New Year’s, when Ricky went out with some friends and did a “murder mystery” dinner with his best friend’s girlfriend’s parents.

Then it struck me again on Fourth of July, when — instead of all of us riding our bikes up to the lake like we used to — Ricky went out to his girlfriend’s town to celebrate with her, while Rene met her own friends up at the lake and barely touched base with us at the end of the fireworks show. Nate hung out with us, but it was just … different.

I’m expecting to see this on the Fourth of July:

And instead I’m getting an empty house.

It came up again on Halloween, where I’m imagining all the little kids coming to our house, and all the neighbor parents, but instead we had …

an almost-empty house.

Superman used to mention this all the time — he’d get very quiet, and say he missed the kids when they were younger. But I used to wave it off. They’re fun now! I’d say. They’re so much fun to vacation with, being older. They’re so interesting to talk to, as teens. We can go to museums! We can have lively discussions about politics at dinner!

But he would just stay quiet. …

And this year — on these holidays — it really hit me, what Superman’s been saying all these years.

Now I miss them, too.

Or I miss their young selves.

Maybe I need some new traditions.

NYLC

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So my oldest son left on a jet plane — He took off for Washington, D.C., where he is the nominee to represent California at the National Young Leaders Conference.

I’m so excited for him. The event sounds terrific. It was expensive, and the nominees were encouraged to showcase some of the leadership skills for which they were nominated and do some fundraising, so Ricky tried. He asked for sponsorships from friends and family (and man, our family and friends were amazing and supportive!), and then he had to go out to companies to do some fundraising, too, which was great experience for him.

Honda was very helpful, and several local establishments donated (including a hand-written note and donation from our favorite pizza place across the street that we literally run across the street for at least once a month!) One food place here in Orange County — Olamendi’s — is owned by a man named Carlos Olamendi who called Ricky personally and asked him about the conference. Carlos was very excited for Rick to go — he said he himself had been offered opportunities to go to D.C. and got to meet so many interesting people, and he was really happy to see another young local guy going. He invited Ricky into one of his restaurants and showed him all his pictures on the wall, then asked Rick if he’d like to leave a collection box and he’d encourage people to support Ricky’s efforts. I thought the whole thing was really cool of Carlos, and Ricky swung by the restaurant from time to time to see how his collection box was doing and got to know Carlos a little more each time.

It’s just so neat that there are so many people ready and willing to mentor and support.

Ricky’s grandpa lives in the D.C. area, so he’s having Rick over for a couple of nights and has also been very helpful and encouraging about the whole trip. He flew Rick there on his own dime and even flew Superman to join them for two days — so it was a “three-generations” trip for a little while.

Now Rick’s been shuttled to the conference, where he’ll hang out for another six days. Not only will he be learning how to navigate airports and airport transfers by himself, but at the conference he’s going to do some debating over political issues, meet the political press corps (have breakfast with them, I believe), visit the House of Representatives, attend several workshops, do some “if I were president” debates, and so forth. (We had to buy him a suit and several ties!) He’s going to be running all over D.C. this week, so if you’re there, look for him. : )

I’m so excited for him. This is right up his ally. …

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