I always feel melancholy on the anniversary of 9/11. In addition to feeling so bad for all the families who are going on eight years without their loved ones, it makes me remember how alone we can feel.
On 9/11/01, I had just started staying home with my children as a stay-at-home mom, and I walked them to the elementary school, then walked the baby home in the stroller, and when I got home I had the strangest urge to turn on the television. And when I saw what was happening, I felt strangely, oddly, alone. Because I didn’t know. The nation was in chaos and scared, and I had no idea. And I was alone. And no one said anything to me as I was walking the baby home! And I just left my children at school.
It was very scary to feel so clueless, and not to have another adult there to talk to. I felt so terrible for all those people, and their families, and so unsure about what was happening, and I just wanted to talk to someone about it. And I thought, wow, people must have been listening to this on their car radios and thinking gee, that poor woman walking with the stroller over there, she has no idea. And I would have continued to have no idea if I hadn’t had that odd urge to turn on the television when I got home. It was a strange realization of how isolated you can be as a SAHM. Needless to say, I always turned on the morning news after that.
I blogged about our nation’s collective memories of 9/11 over at Health Bistro today. I’d love to hear your comments (over there). Where were you when you realized what was happening? Did you have someone to talk to? Do your memories help you on these remembrance days? Please visit the post here and let me know. I’d really love to hear your story.