Ode to Humble Men

As a romance writer, I’m always asking women friends what they find attractive in men.

Once, one of my friends, Judy, fired back a response that surprised me: “I like men who are humble,” she said.

I hadn’t heard that one before. And I had to think about it for a second. But ultimately, I could see what she meant. Humble men are respectful men. And if they are respectful, they usually know how to treat others well. And they know how to treat women well. And they know how to love well.

I think it would surprise men to know that women find this attractive, but women really do.

Romance writers tend to present the much-more alpha hero — and there’s a place for him, too, of course. But I think the humble man deserves his place in romance novels, too. So that’s why I’m writing one now. My current hero is geeky, sweet, a little insecure, but ultimately so humble and loving that he wins our heroine over. I’m having so much fun writing him.

Anyway, I thought about humble men, and Judy’s response, again when stumbling across the quotes and gifs last week about Beck winning the album of the year, and Kanye West stepping in to say it should have gone to Beyonce instead.

Despite all Kanye’s alpha swagger, Beck’s humble response — kind, respectful, preserving everyone’s dignity (including Kanye’s and Beyonce’s) — was so much more attractive …

Here’s a good blog post about it: One Quote Sums Up Why Beck Is the Most Humble Man in Music – Mic.

What are your thoughts on humble men? Or on seeing quieter, nerdier, more-beta heroes in romance novels?

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4 thoughts on “Ode to Humble Men

  1. I love humility. It is not lack of character nor personality. It is a reflection of your inner self, the sum of all your experiences (good and bad) spoken quietly. I agree that in romance, Alpha types are the norm, but a humble heroe may worm his way into our hearts quicker and stealthily and leave us with this happy feeling because that chance encounter was meant to be.

  2. Oh, I can’t wait to read his story! I think humble is attractive. There is something to be said about the shy quiet type!

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